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for the record

May 14, 2013

This year, the way the “every other weekend” kid-sharing schedule worked out, the Big Kids were with their dad on Mother’s Day. I might have been more upset, but it meant that I could take the kids to the Vancouver Island Children’s Book Festival the weekend before, which we’ve missed for the past three years (again, because of our schedule).  Still, their dad offered for me to have the kids back early on Mother’s Day to at least have dinner with them that night.  That precipitated a discussion about what the kids wanted to do. 

My Big Girl said, “Of course we should be with you on Mother’s Day, and with daddy on Father’s Day!”  I explained that this year we are trying to plan a family holiday on Father’s Day weekend, so I couldn’t reciprocate their dad’s offer.  To make it more complicated, I explained that in many ways the Big Guy is also their father, and he would like to be with them on Father’s Day too…  I added that when the kids are twelve they can decide for themselves where they want to be, and they could stop going to their dad’s altogether, or they could decide to live with him full time.  I had just had a conversation with a mom who’s younger son is in the Big Girl’s class at school.  Her twelve-year-old son had moved to England to live with his dad because he was struggling to focus at school and feeling left out of the new family his mom has created.   While heartbreaking for that mom, it was absolutely the right decision for her boy.

My Big Boy’s eyes got wide and he said, “That is never going to happen.”  I was secretly relieved but said, “Well, you never know.  Maybe things will be different down the road.” 

“No mom,” he said emphatically. “That is never, ever, going to happen.”

Can I hold you to that?

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